Category Archives: Princess MeMeMe

Yes­ter­day morn­ing on my way in to work…

Oh my God, WHY is it tak­ing so long for this line to get to the front? All I want is a dozen dough­nuts!  I swear they’re con­spir­ing against me.  This always hap­pens!  I hate this, I am never shop­ping here again, I should totally leave.  But I didn’t bake that cof­fee cake and it might be our last day so I have to bring some­thing in.  I’m the Mom.  If I don’t bring some­thing in, I am a bad Mom.  And after yelling at a few of the kids to work more, YouTube less, I have to! OMG this is tak­ing so f*ing long!  WTF!?! “Yes, hi, a dozen dough­nuts, please.”

Later…

OMG why are you two cashiers talk­ing to each other instead of tak­ing orders as quickly as pos­si­ble? Can’t you tell it’s lunch time? My blood sugar is low and I have a headache and I just want my stu­pid sand­wich rung up so I can go out­side and eat in the YET AGAIN FREEZING COLD OMG I HATE NEW ENGLAND Al Gore was basi­cally right but the ice age is ALREADY here and I AM NEVER GOING TO SEE ROSES AND BEACHPLUMS AGAIN and “no, no car­rots or chips, just the sand­wich.”  I should have got­ten the carrots.

Later at the park­ing garage…

Where are my keys, where’s my park­ing slip, why can’t I find any­thing, even when I TRY to put it in the right place I can still never find it, even if I made myself the Tote of a Thou­sand Pock­ets I would still for­get where stuff is, damned mem­ory, damned med­ica­tions that make it worse, I’m so stu­pid I can’t even remem­ber where I put my damned keys EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE RIGHT WHERE THEY OUGHT TO BE AND I LOOKED THERE ALREADY I swear to God, I’m just going to get pierc­ings and attach every­thing to my body, “Hi, here’s my ticket.  ATM, not credit card, please.”

Later dri­ving home …

WHY do they always DOUBLE PARK in the South End dur­ing rush hour?  Damned yup­pies live a half block away but God for­bid they actu­ally go home to their paid-for-parking space and then WALK back to pick up sup­per that they’ve called in on their CELL PHONES which made them WEAVE IN FRONT OF ME WHILE DRIVING and NOT USE THEIR TURN SIGNAL and oth­er­wise drive like a MORON.  C’mon peo­ple, Coun­try Style Pad Thai tastes bet­ter for a bit of a walk to pick it up, and don’t you know that leav­ing your black SUV IDLING WHILE DOUBLE PARKED WITH THE HAZARDS ON means it will NEVER BE SPRING AND I WILL DIE IN DARKNESS?

So then I called my old life coach (Becky Cas­tro of I Love Mon­day Morn­ings, she’s won­der­ful and brings new mean­ing to the phrase “lends a new per­spec­tive”) and had a won­der­ful con­ver­sa­tion and cheered right up and was able to be help­ful to her while get­ting what feels like unde­served praise for my own cur­rent sit­u­a­tion and reminded myself that all I needed to do when I am feel­ing medication-mixed is to call some­one who will cheer me up.

And then I stopped for ice cream and twinkies at the gro­cery store.  Because Ice Cream is a mild but quick-acting a mood sta­bi­lizer.  (Based on a sci­en­tif­i­cally rig­or­ous sam­ple of one.)  What, you didn’t know that?  Hie thee hence to your grocer’s freezer aisle, posthaste!