BipolarLawyerCook

The prob­lem with their find­ing noth­ing wrong is that they don’t find a cause, either– which means the cause is still out there.  Which means it comes back.  Creeps back, so at first you don’t really notice, a lit­tle bit of exhaus­tion, a small bit of nau­sea, some tired­ness, until your friend wafts some cookies […]

Read Full Post »

It’s funny—she’s so used, in a way, to the feel­ings of sad­ness, depres­sion, lone­li­ness– all the other emo­tions that go along with her manic depres­sion that all of the— the bleak­ness —some­times despair and siren, clichéd thoughts of that final dark­ness. Most days she doesn’t think of them much, at least when the meds […]

Read Full Post »

No.  Not Nuprin, but my anti-anxiety drug, a stronger one than I used to take.
It’s been a long sev­eral days, and I shan’t/won’t go into details, other than to say the fol­low­ing.
Crazy peo­ple are liars.
They lie to them­selves about how much they can han­dle, until they just can’t any­more.  In the mean­time, they pre­tend that they’re fine […]

Read Full Post »

“Good morn­ing,” I say, when I am at work.
“How are you?” my cus­tomers some­times reply.
“A swirling void of worth­less­ness and angry depres­sion, over­laid with some­what effec­tive anti-anxiety drugs, so long as I keep up with my sched­ule,” is not how I reply.
I smile and say “Fine, thank you, and you?”
They don’t want to know. I don’t, either. […]

Read Full Post »

There’s a long arti­cle in this weekend’s Mag­a­zine about the hardwiring/predisposition toward anx­i­ety as a psy­cho­log­i­cal dis­or­der, some­thing that adds to the Nature v. Nur­ture debate. This, in par­tic­u­lar, rang true:
“Two peo­ple can expe­ri­ence the same level of anx­i­ety, he said, but one who has inter­est­ing work to dis­tract her from the jit­tery feel­ings might […]

NYT Sunday Magazine article on the Anxious Mind">Read Full Post »

I’ve been feel­ing up and down again– not the deep crashes and stom­ach lurch­ing heights of truly bad mood swings, but repet­i­tive lit­tle lurches that have me feel­ing cranky or sad or lethar­gic or anx­ious– and feel­ing very, very sorry for myself.  A la “I want a magic pill,” and “I don’t want to do […]

Read Full Post »

Today’s post, “Sens­ing out signs,” is up at Real Mental.

Read Full Post »

Any­one tried trilep­tal?  After a hypo­manic surge at 200mg on lam­ic­tal, what I hoped was my old standby, and con­tin­ued mild migrain­ous symp­toms at 100mg, it looks like I get to hop the new meds roller­coaster for a while.
Please feel free to email me offline, bipo­lar­lawyer­cook AT gmail DOT com.  Thanks, all.

Read Full Post »

“Plateau,” over at Real­Men­tal, hope­fully self explana­tory regard­ing my neglect to write here and to visit you and your own won­der­ful writ­ing and shar­ing at your blogs.
Never fear, though.  Unlike the Monty Python Dead Par­rot, I’m not dead, merely resting.

Read Full Post »

This week’s post, “Quick Fix,” is up.

Read Full Post »