Category Archives: books

Red Sox Fans Are All Douchebags, aka Don’t Box Me In

I go to ther­apy not far from Fen­way Park and Ken­more Square, a land of ample metered park­ing.  Usu­ally.  But it’s base­ball sea­son, and as I came out of my ses­sion, the SUVs were roam­ing like mad cat­tle, foam­ing and froth­ing and honk­ing and worst of all, NOT USING THEIR SIGNALS TO INDICATE LANE CHANGES.  (Care­ful there, E., your pet peeves are showing.)

I got to my car, got in, turned on the igni­tion, and had not yet even turned on my blinker when bang, one SUV WHIZ backed up right on top of me and BANG another crept up behind, both of them glar­ing at one another so hard that they com­pletely ignored that between them, they’d made it impos­si­ble for me to get out of the space, because each of them had encroached at least six inches along­side my bumpers in an effort to claim the whole space.

I tried look­ing at one.  Then I tried to look at the other.  I honked my horn, even, because in Boston, this is uni­ver­sal for “Get out of the way, one of you ass­holes, because I can’t fuck­ing get out of the space.”  I also glared over my glasses.

Appar­ently, they were both from the sub­urbs and did not com­pre­hend, because nei­ther one budged. I there­fore got out of the car.  After all, I had fif­teen min­utes more on the meter, and there’s a lovely cof­fee place not that far away.

blc’s not going out, in a man­ner of speak­ing.  And Red Sox fans?  Don’t fence me in.  (I love Bing & the Andrews’ Sis­ters’ ver­sion too, but ooh, David Byrne.  How can you not love David Byrne singing that song?)

An ex-lawyer works in a bookstore…

I got the job.  I start Mon­day.  And I’m ridicu­lously excited about it, and not just because of those two lovely words, Employee Discount.

In some alter­nate uni­verse where I was more blase or just a yup­pie ass­hole with grandios­ity prob­lems brought on by grad­u­ate school I might be rolling my eyes at myself for being excited to be the head cashier at one busy store in a national book­store chain, but I just spent the week­end help­ing make sure there was enough food on the table and all the other things needed to set up and ensure that A. & E.‘s wed­ding recep­tion went as smoothly as pos­si­ble.  The feel­ing of look­ing around and see­ing that tan­gi­ble things were being accom­plished was a warmer feel­ing than I’ve had recently by push­ing paper over my desk.

Plus, it gives me an excuse to buy some new shoes, since Thoreau was just plain wrong about being wary of enter­prises requir­ing new clothes.  I mean, the guy nearly burnt down all of Con­cord with a badly-set camp­fire.  (See, lit­er­ary trivia.  I’m prac­tic­ing for work.)

Pretty tofu confetti: cleaning the pantry

Okay– I admit that my fridge and pantry con­tain ingre­di­ents that are not “aver­age.”  But I still have to clean the sucker out and use food up before it goes bad.  Times are tough, starv­ing chil­dren in Africa, it’s a sin to waste food, or you’re just a cheap Yan­kee like me– any way you slice it, there’s always some­thing that needs using up.  This time it was some teriyaki baked tofu (don’t knock it, it’s great cold for break­fast) and some cilantro.  I always have limes and lemons, and gin­ger, gar­lic and onions are also sta­ples.  So … I put on 1 cup of sushi rice to cook (noth­ing fancy, I just fol­lowed the pack­age direc­tions) and set to doing some­thing with the rest of it.

Here’s how it went.

I piled all my “got to get rid of this” stuff on the counter with the other pos­si­ble ingre­di­ents.  The French call it mise en place.  I call it “put it where you can’t for­get to add it.”  Or “ducks in a row.”  Or “set the shit out in front of you.”  Whatever.

Please to for­give the bad light­ing and fuzzy expo­sure.  It was 8:30 at night and we have crappy light in the kitchen.  Any­way– soy sauce, Sriracha hot sauce, rice wine vine­gar, cilantro, tofu, gar­lic, onion and gin­ger.  And limes.  You might think this is not very veggie-heavy except for the onion and gar­lic, and that it’s a prob­lem in the depths of win­ter in May, but I will have you know that any­thing col­ored green counts as a veg­etable.  Lime jello?  A vegetable.

Next, there was chop­page of red onion, approx­i­mately 1/3 cup.  I also decided how much gin­ger and gar­lic I wanted– one peeled chunk about 1 inch around and two cloves of garlic.

Next, I sauteed the onion in some neu­tral oil (I used cold-pressed grape­seed) over medium high heat until it was soft.  At that point, I added the gin­ger and garlic.

Soft red onions, chopped gar­lic and gin­ger?  Mmmm.  Lay­ers of fla­vor.  Repi­tan se: Lay­ers of fla­vor.  Toss the gin­ger and gar­lic (aka “aro­mat­ics”) over medium low heat with the onion until they are fragrant.

Before you add the gin­ger and gar­lic, but while the onion’s still cook­ing, chop your baked tofu into small­ish cubes.  I really can’t extol the virtues of baked tofu enough.  It’s firm and has a totally dif­fer­ent tex­ture from reg­u­lar tofu.  It usu­ally comes in fla­vors like lemon pep­per or teriyaki.  Me?  I love the teriyaki fla­vor, and not just because the BH says my favorite food group is salt.  So– cubed tofu.  Mmm.  Really.

Again.  I need to get brighter lights in the kitchen, or get more seri­ous about light­ing the kitchen for night­time food blog­ging action shots.

Add the tofu to the fry­ing pan, stir­ring it gen­tly over low heat with the other ingre­di­ents to make sure the lay­ers of fla­vor amalgamate.

Mmm.  Brown food.  Well, brown and purple.

Your sushi rice has been cook­ing while you’ve been play­ing with all your brown food.  When the rice is done, you can turn it off and let it sit with the lid on while you pre­pare color for the meal.

Chop a good hand­ful of cilantro and quar­ter a lime.  It’s up to you if you want to be a food design dork and put them in a glass bowl on your table with all the condi­ments art­fully dis­played behind them.

That fancy shmancy cam­era angle is thanks to a highly spe­cial­ized tech­nique called tilt­ing your cam­era.  Oooh.  I know!  Gourmet mag­a­zine, here I come.

Notice the lit­tle can­dles?  Those are Oxo Can­de­las– I bought them for the BH last year for his birth­day.  He’s a design geek.

For the pur­poses of food porn shots, put your rice and your tofu saute side by side in a large glass bowl.

Nom.

Now here’s the very, very, very bestest part of all.  Remem­ber how your mother used to say “Don’t play with your food?”  Ptooey.  Play with your food all you want.  Sprin­kle cilantro.  Driz­zle soy sauce and rice wine vine­gar.  Dot with Sriracha.  Squeeze as much lime as you want all over.  You know why?  It’s your food and you can sea­son it how­ever you want.  (And … erm … lay­ers of fla­vor?  Yeah.  That.)

Call it mud­pies, call it the pret­ti­est edi­ble con­fetti you’ve ever seen in your life, call it Hort­ense.  Just don’t for­get to call it dinner.

Total time: 30 min­utes.  2 serv­ings for one hun­gry food blog­ger who missed lunch.  3 for peo­ple who take human bites.

Next up in our ongo­ing adven­tures in Lay­ers of Fla­vor: cook­ing from the incred­i­bly excel­lent cook­book  Clau­dia Roden’s The Food of Italy– I cook a recipe, take pic­tures and blog about it, you com­ment, and I send the book to a randomly-drawn win­ner.  You cook, you pho­to­graph, you post, you con­tinue the trend.  (Yes, Jenn, Hen, I’m actu­ally, finally, finally going to do it!  I actu­ally did it twice and lost the pho­tos both times.)

Bon Appetit, y’all.

The Lingering Effects of Harry Potter

I was brows­ing at the shrine to the “Twi­light” vam­pire series at one the down­town chain book­store that has a decent sci-fi/fantasy and poetry sec­tion and observed the after­math of the Harry Pot­ter books.  I’ve never read these books, but I see peo­ple of all dif­fer­ent ages and social groups read­ing them on the train (much like Harry Pot­ter) that I wanted to flip through them.  So I’m read­ing through parts of the four? one mil­lion? in the series when I hear two younger male voices to my left.

Nah, man, that movie adap­ta­tion was lousy, and the way I pic­tured them, they just didn’t look like that in the movie.”

Yeah.  And they really left out major plot points.  I kind of hope they don’t do any more movies because it kinda ruins my enjoy­ment of the books.”

I look up, and there are two boys, 17–19-ish in local col­lege sweat­shirts, jock builds and hair­cuts, and by all accounts just your nor­mal teenage boys.  So I ask–

Are they any good?  I’ve never read them, I’m more of a swords & sor­cery type, but I see every­one read­ing them…”

They both became quite eager to tell me that while “her writing’s kinda spotty, the char­ac­ter inter­ac­tions are amaz­ing and the story’s com­pelling.”

The taller, scruffier, more jock-like one then says “Yeah.  The Edward/Bella thing is awe­some.  I love all that girly stuff.”

The other one nods.  “I’ve got all the High School Musi­cals on DVD.”

So then I repeat I’m not fond of vampires.

Says the tall scruffy one who loves girly stuff– “Well, they’re not as vio­lent as the Anne Rice ones or as kinky and weird as the Lau­rell Hamil­ton ones.  They’re good.  It’s mostly romance and teen angst with vam­pires thrown in for adventure.”

I ask where these books rate com­pared with Harry Pot­ter or Phillip Pull­man, and they both go “Pull­man,” with­out miss­ing a beat.  Then the girly stuff one says, “Of course Pullman’s way bet­ter.  But these ones are good.”

Then the qui­eter one says “What kind of sword & sor­cery stuff?”

I ask him who else he’s read, and he tells me the usual sus­pects (Robert Jor­dan, et. al.), so I say “Eliz­a­beth Moon and Lois McMas­ter Bujold both have action-packed but character-driven sci fi and fan­tasy books with strong nar­ra­tives,” and the he tells me he’s heard that Moon wrote some “Deed of Paks-se-something” (Pak­sen­nar­ion) series that he’s sup­posed to read.

I tell him that yes, he should read it, and that it’s Tolkein­ish with­out being quite so dry.

Is it epic?  I love epic shit.”

I laugh and con­firm that it’s epic.

The other one says “Man, I tried Tolkien but all that poetry and stuff, it breaks up the story and it’s kind of stilted and disjointed.”

I tell them both to read more fan­tasy, then go back later and they’ll enjoy see­ing where ALL the basic themes for fan­tasy books come from.

The quiet one then says “Oh– so it’s like meta-fantasy, hunh?”

I nod.  He looks at me again.  “Eliz­a­beth Moon?”  I nod again.  “Thanks.”

Come on, dude,” he says to his com­pan­ion, and off they saunter, directly to the sci-fi/fantasy section.

Any­one who thought Harry Pot­ter was a one-off sen­sa­tion is nuts.  These two teen boys got all con-crit in a down­town Bor­ders.  I was so charmed and delighted I wanted to invite them home, make them tomato soup and grilled cheese, and say “Have at them, Boys,” while point­ing at my bookshelves.

Although now that I think of it, I should have rec­om­mended the Patrick O’Brien series.

Those Evil Online Booksellers

There’s an inter­est­ing arti­cle in the New York Times about the effect of online book sales on small book­stores– espe­cially the effect of resales on authors and stores.

I admit that I have bought my fair share of new books from Ama­zon, or gone to a box store like Bor­ders or Barnes and Noble.  I don’t buy many used books, unlike my Dad, who loves Alib­ris almost as much as he loves his own kids, but I’m not an aca­d­e­mic, either, so I’m not chas­ing down obscure or out of print books most of the time.  And I have no doubt that this has had a real effect– I can see it in what ought to be the book mecca– Har­vard Square.  Now those won­der­ful days I spent as a kid and teenager mooching in the paper­back sci-fi & fan­tasy aisles at as many as three stores are gone.  The Har­vard Coop is run by B & N, and there’s one general-interest book­store (ONE, peo­ple) left in the square.  I try to buy there as often as pos­si­ble, but it really is over the river and through the woods for me, so it’s some­place I have to make a trip to get to.

But here’s the thing– and it’s some­thing the arti­cle doesn’t address.  They’re talk­ing about good, well-run small book­stores.  The ones who put care and deep thought into their selec­tions, and who pay atten­tion to inven­tory and what peo­ple come in ask­ing for.

Even liv­ing in Boston, I some­times have trou­ble find­ing a book that I need.  The only reli­able “small” book­stores, i.e., non-chains, are Book­smith and the New Eng­land Mobile Book Fair, aka King Tut’s Tomb.

Oth­er­wise?  Well, I live in a neigh­bor­hood in Boston that does have its own book­store– except it’s a spe­cialty book­store, and tends to carry mostly non­fic­tion and fic­tion works with an African-American or His­panic bent.  Which is fine for learn­ing new things, but when I need to find some­thing spe­cific that someone’s expressed a wish for, this isn’t the place to find it.

And the other nearby Book­store, which I desparately want to be able to shop at because it’s a sweet lit­tle store in a “down­town” where I can buy meat from a butcher, veg­gies and spices from the mid­dle east pro­duce ven­dor, cheese from a spe­cialty shop, nice tchotchkes from a nice lady in an airy, bright cor­ner store.  But the last three times I’ve gone in there, look­ing for non-obscure books, she hasn’t had any of them.

This last time I needed a book (and yes, shame on me for leav­ing Christ­mas shop­ping until the week before Christ­mas, but hey, crazy lady with a job, here) I delib­er­ately didn’t order two books from ama­zon on the the­ory that both had been well-reviewed and there­fore would be avail­able in an area book­store.  Boy.  I was wrong.   One of the books I wanted to give as a gift was a cooking/travel book that was on everyone’s best­seller lists a year ago, and came out in paper­back this sum­mer– it was well regarded in the lit­er­ary press, and was in the line of those Anthony Bour­dain books that sold like gang­busters.  Seemed safe to believe most sell­ers would carry it.

The other one, Dear Amer­i­can Air­lines, which is both fun­nier than David Sedaris and more poignant and heart­break­ing than Wally Lamb, has got­ten good reviews in major papers, and even ended up on some “best of the year” lists.  And yet, when I asked the pro­pri­et­ess if she had either, she gave me a look and said “never heard of them.”  She looked them up in her com­puter, and said, “Oh, no, I’ve never car­ried either of them.”  I found it hard to con­tain my sur­prise as to the lat­ter book, so I said “Really?  The Miles book had a very, very good review in the New York Times’ Sun­day Book Review.”

Okay.  Look.  I can under­stand that not every­one reads the Sun­day Book Review.  There are lots of bet­ter things to do with your time, really.  But if you’re a book­seller?  Espe­cially one on the East Coast?  Espe­cially one in Boston, where the books on the train are still an excel­lent sur­vey of real fic­tion and non­fic­tion?  Well, I hope you’ll agree that my flab­ber­gast­ed­ness (is that a word? I declare it so.) was rea­son­able when she answered me.

Oh, I don’t read that.”

And that, right there, is the prob­lem with many smaller brick and mor­tar book­stores.  If I have time, I will go to the trou­ble of order­ing some­thing ahead of time to go pick up– or will plan ahead enough so I have time to go to mul­ti­ple indie stores in one day.  But if I go in need­ing some­thing in par­tic­u­lar, or I’m in the mood to just browse, and the seller’s one of those peo­ple who thinks it would be “fun” to own a book­store, well, you’re just not going to have what I’m look­ing for  or will be inter­ested in buy­ing if you’re only buy­ing off the rec­om­mended list from your dis­trib­u­tor, or what­ever Oprah’s fea­tur­ing this month.  I have encoun­tered this prob­lem more times than I can count.  Good books that get good reviews in major book review pub­li­ca­tions, and they don’t even have one copy– con­sis­tently, every time I go look­ing for a copy.  It makes me sad, because I really would love that square to have a book­store.  But how could I pos­si­bly keep patron­iz­ing a book­store whose pro­pri­etress is so clue­less?  It’s like bang­ing my head against a brick and mor­tar store.  I’ve walked out of there empty-handed too often, and me walk­ing empty-handed out of a book­store is like the sun not ris­ing every day.

Maybe I’m a book­snob.  But if you want me to patron­ize your store?  Please carry at least some of the seriously-reviewed books of the year.  And if I say something’s been well-reviewed in such-and-such pub­li­ca­tion, at least have the audac­ity to lie to me and say you’re fresh out.  Then take note– and go read it.  You might make me believe you did order the one or two copies your small store had room for, and I might actu­ally come back.  I know it takes time.  I know it takes effort and thought.  But if you’re seri­ous about books, and seri­ous about own­ing a book­stores (two dif­fer­ent things, I know), then please, please, do it.

Instead?  The BH had to buy the cook/travel book at the B & N in Har­vard Square, and the Dear Amer­can Air­lines at the Bor­ders down­town.  And a cute lit­tle store in a cute lit­tle neigh­bor­hood lost a customer.