Category Archives: Better Half

Tips for a happy marriage

Posted on June 15, 2009 by bipolarlawyercook| 9 Comments

When Wii Box­ing with your spouse, it will be less dis­turb­ing if you use the Mii icons that DON’T look like you.  Because I just got KO’d, and I’m more annoyed than I should be.

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Posted in Better Half, nerd

Sunday Morning Breakfast Ruminations

Posted on June 7, 2009 by bipolarlawyercook| 3 Comments

The Inter­net, besides being the source of all knowl­edge, porn and fan­fic­tion (and, erm, we’ll get to that shame­ful new addic­tion of mine some other time, mmkay?) is also a source of new words, abbre­vi­a­tions and phrases, although some­times it’s just respon­si­ble for mak­ing those words from music/tv/press go “viral.” (See, that’s a very Intar­webz word, too.)  With­out teh Intar­webz, how would I know of the addi­tions to the lex­i­con that are: nom, “i can haz,” LOL, kthxbai, “oh hai,” (hmm, clearly I read too much LOL­cats) GQMF (GQ Moth­er­fucker), mmkay, FAIL, EPIC, and ‘EPIC FAIL’ (a thing of beauty for­ever), ‘for the win,’ LMAO plus its var­i­ous iter­a­tions, and MOAR.  And let’s not for­get “you win the Internet.”

“See, no, ‘MOAR’ is not a word,” the Bet­ter Half sput­tered and fumed.  “Dif­fer­ent spellings don’t count.  They just don’t.”  His voice rose and he stood behind his chair, so indig­nant that he ignored his pan­cakes.  (That’s a lot of indig­na­tion.  The BH is quite devoted to pancakes.)

“No, it counts,” I said calmly, putting on my “I can ratio­nal­ize any­thing with logical-sounding total bull­shit” lawyer hat.  “See, ‘more’ as a word fails to encom­pass the con­cept of ‘MOAR,’ because the orig­i­nal word fails to encom­pass the sense of com­plete and total AWSUM that some­thing can have in a way that fore­closes any­thing ever being bet­ter than the thing being described as ‘MOAR.’”

I have never heard a more indig­nant series of “tsks” and exas­per­ated breath­ing, nor have I ever seen some­one turn vig­or­ous eye-rolling into a full body event.  Sweetie, you win the Inter­net.  And the eye-rolling Olympics.  But I still need you to main­tain this web­site, because I can haz band­width?  Kthxbai.

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Posted in Better Half, just plain silly, nerd, sparkly

Note to Self

Posted on June 3, 2009 by bipolarlawyercook| 5 Comments

Dear Self:

Yes, your hus­band is ex-Army.  Yes, your hus­band is a com­puter Geek.  Yes, your hus­band is an avid reader of blogs about fonts and design.  (Yes, fonts.  Like Optima.*)  And yes, if you ever, ever ref­er­ence a phrase from any Broad­way show writ­ten or per­formed before 1990, it will set off the singing of said song and then every other song in said musi­cal, and then every other musi­cal by same com­poser.  And then Jesus Christ Super­star.  Just because he likes it.

Note to self: stay away from the song ref­er­ences.  Even if there ain’t noth­ing like a dame.

Mmkay?

blc

*The BH says if he was to marry a font, it would be Optima.  Do you see what I’m deal­ing with?

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Posted in Better Half, just plain silly

It’s not a road trip without ice cream

Posted on May 27, 2009 by bipolarlawyercook| 8 Comments

There are a vari­ety of things we’d stopped doing as a cou­ple, one of which was Road Trips.  Not every week­end, but many, the BH and I used to just go for a drive and see where we landed.  It’s not great for the planet, sure, but it was good for us.  We lis­tened to music, laughed, talked, pointed out the win­dows at cows and chick­ens and made the respec­tive ani­mal noises and oth­er­wise ensured that A Good Time Was Had By All.  And one of the ways we ensured a good time was ice cream.  There always had to be ice cream, prefer­ably at a road­side stand along the way– if we came up dry there was a really good soft serve place in town that more than suf­ficed before we got home.

It started to peter out when we moved back to Boston, then moreso this last year or so.  So on Mon­day, the BH sug­gested a road trip.

We mean­dered, we wan­dered, we let the GPS squawk with­out heed­ing it over­much.  We ended up in New Hamp­shire and were wend­ing our way home when the below caught our eye.  We screeched to a halt in the midst of the road and engaged in a bold U-turn, then descended on the ice cream stand like a bunch of kids after lit­tle league.  (Ok.  We slowed respon­si­bly, turned into an insur­ance agency park­ing lot, turned around and parked before pro­ceed­ing in a rea­son­able man­ner into the store while only elbow­ing three or four tod­dlers in the head.)

Our road­trip was there­fore successful.

Brightly painted exte­rior?  Check.  Amer­i­can flag?  Check.  That char­ac­ter­is­tic low build­ing with an over­hang above the walkup counter with pil­lars out front?  Check.

All the sun­dae fla­vors and top­pings your greedy heart can desire, plus Richardson’s (16% but­ter­fat, yeah baby), the Ice Cream of My Youth?  Check.

Com­mem­o­ra­tive t-shirts and ice cream cakes, Party Food of the Gods?  Also a check.

And last but not least, a medium cup of But­ter Crunch ice cream eaten out­side on a sticky pic­nic table.  I tell you, but­ter is jeal­ous of this ice cream for its but­tery good­ness, com­plete with but­ter­scotch shards.

And lo, A Good Time Was Had By All.

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Posted in Better Half, flickr, food, links, photos

We are now those people

Posted on May 26, 2009 by bipolarlawyercook| 7 Comments

Sun­day night the Bet­ter Half and I went to the movies and real­ized that we are now those peo­ple we used to mock as we sat mak­ing out with our high school dates, snarfling pop­corn and candy like calo­ries were irrel­e­vant and oth­er­wise liv­ing ado­les­cent, ego-centric lives.  Not so now.

We got off the sub­way and came up to street level and made our first and most impor­tant stop: the CVS, home of cheaper soda, candy and nuts than the movies.  Eleven bucks yielded diet soda, San Pel­le­grino, Milk Duds, Peanut M & Ms (i.e., the world’s most nutri­tion­ally com­plete candy) and a bag of (shelled) pis­ta­chios.  That same money would just earn you the right to order in the the­ater.  Food shop­ping accom­plished, I stuffed these healthy snacks into my purse so that the folks at the the­ater would not send me away for bring­ing some­what afford­able food inside.

Next, we pur­chased our tick­ets and pro­ceeded to our assigned the­ater.  Along the way, I became Extremely Antsy and just man­aged to sti­fle the fol­low­ing inner tirade: “What’s wrong with this stu­pid teenager in front of me?  He’s on his phone, weav­ing like he’s drunk in pants hang­ing off his ass and it’s impos­si­ble to go around him, he’s so unpre­dictable and IF I DON’T GET A GOOD SEAT BECAUSE OF HIM I AM GOING TO BE MAD.”  Ahem.  So, yeah, I kept that part quiet.  (You’re wel­come, sweetheart.)

Then, seats found, we dis­cussed var­i­ous items of inter­na­tional polit­i­cal import while ignor­ing the TWENTY MINUTES of ads and prod­uct place­ments and web-only trailer pro­mo­tions before we even got to the actual pre­views, dur­ing which there were more ads.  I did declare it then and declare it so now– the stuff on that screen before the actual movie shall hence­forth be known as TrailerTrash.

And then the movie came– we laughed, I got weepy at one point, and we both had a grand old time right through the end.  Includ­ing the end of the cred­its.  All of them.  We were the last ones in the the­ater while the cleanup crew hugged the walls want­ing to know why the hell we cared about Foley Artists.  (We just do, alright?)

So yeah– we are food-smuggling, credit-watching, trailer-ignoring cranky old peo­ple.  We didn’t even kick the back of anyone’s seat.  What’s up with THAT?

(We saw Star Trek.  It was really, really, really fun, and the Kirk/Spock dynamic was really well done.  I knew I was always a Trekkie, but I didn’t think I was that much of a geek until I caught myself wait­ing for them to trot out every character’s catch phrase or man­ner­ism.   At least I didn’t whine that the dimen­sions of the “Real” Enter­prise were much smaller than the ones in the movie.  *Cough* Bet­ter Half *Cough*.)

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Posted in Better Half, crank, nerd