Sunday Morning Breakfast Ruminations

The Inter­net, besides being the source of all knowl­edge, porn and fan­fic­tion (and, erm, we’ll get to that shame­ful new addic­tion of mine some other time, mmkay?) is also a source of new words, abbre­vi­a­tions and phrases, although some­times it’s just respon­si­ble for mak­ing those words from music/tv/press go “viral.” (See, that’s a very Intar­webz word, too.)  With­out teh Intar­webz, how would I know of the addi­tions to the lex­i­con that are: nom, “i can haz,” LOL, kthxbai, “oh hai,” (hmm, clearly I read too much LOL­cats) GQMF (GQ Moth­er­fucker), mmkay, FAIL, EPIC, and ‘EPIC FAIL’ (a thing of beauty for­ever), ‘for the win,’ LMAO plus its var­i­ous iter­a­tions, and MOAR.  And let’s not for­get “you win the Internet.”

“See, no, ‘MOAR’ is not a word,” the Bet­ter Half sput­tered and fumed.  “Dif­fer­ent spellings don’t count.  They just don’t.”  His voice rose and he stood behind his chair, so indig­nant that he ignored his pan­cakes.  (That’s a lot of indig­na­tion.  The BH is quite devoted to pancakes.)

“No, it counts,” I said calmly, putting on my “I can ratio­nal­ize any­thing with logical-sounding total bull­shit” lawyer hat.  “See, ‘more’ as a word fails to encom­pass the con­cept of ‘MOAR,’ because the orig­i­nal word fails to encom­pass the sense of com­plete and total AWSUM that some­thing can have in a way that fore­closes any­thing ever being bet­ter than the thing being described as ‘MOAR.’”

I have never heard a more indig­nant series of “tsks” and exas­per­ated breath­ing, nor have I ever seen some­one turn vig­or­ous eye-rolling into a full body event.  Sweetie, you win the Inter­net.  And the eye-rolling Olympics.  But I still need you to main­tain this web­site, because I can haz band­width?  Kthxbai.